


What Your Customers Really Think About Your JOKE SHOP?

by Pepper_Schwein



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-13
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-11-16 13:49:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18095522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pepper_Schwein/pseuds/Pepper_Schwein
Summary: Working in a novelty store had to be the coolest job ever, right? So much better than watching those self-satisfied assholes at Ozai Tech.AKA The joke shop AU that no one asked for.AKA I was looking up fic inspiration and one of the prompts was "Working in a novelty store had to be the coolest and most interesting job ever" which naturally inspired me to think of Sokka.





	1. Limited Time Offer: Buy Buy Buy

**Author's Note:**

> First fic, be gentle. Not beta'd.

Working in a novelty store would have to be the coolest and most interesting job ever. Seeing customers actually happy about being there would be a vast improvement on his job as an accountant for his father’s weapons manufacturing firm. Sure, you saw some government brass walk around with a self-satisfied smirk on their faces, but nothing beats a genuine smile and a face lit up with mischievous glee.

Unless that person happened to be your sister.

You see, Zuko had been suffering from this particular problem for a week. Azula had put it upon herself to purchase a particularly nasty smelling powder and had been spraying it into the air vent at work. As her royal highness was busy up in her daddy’s office being groomed for management, Zuko and his schlobs had to suffer through the stench.

One hour was more than enough. A day...well...it was doable but a week...Zuko needed to take revenge. Not just for himself. But the honour of his entire department.

So he had Googled the closest joke shop and decided to visit.

He was overwhelmed by the vast display of products. Fart bombs, whoopee cushions, novelty mugs and...was that literal poo? People would actually pay money for that?

And kids! Their faces were lit up at the display of toilet humour and Zuko could not remember having been that happy since...maybe a short fling in early university before his father had forced him to cut off the relationship?

And speaking of flings...the guy helping the kids would be one he would only all too happily have one with.

A jawline sharp enough to cut glass. Bold undercut with his silky strand tied into a ponytail. Skin a gorgeous mocha colour. A t-shirt that emphasised the curve of his pecs and jeans that did not hide the lushness of his arse. A hint of abs visible when he lifted his arms to stretch over one of the boys and...was that the markings of a tattoo he could see?

Zuko wanted to lick that tattoo.

The man sauntered over to Zuko and asked

“You look a bit lost. Can I help you?”

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Working in a joke shop was not all fun and games. Sure, you literally sold what most people thought was “fun” and “games” but you had to deal with snot-nosed teenagers all day. Teenagers steal things. That’s a fact. It’s the stage of life where the prefrontal cortex (that’s the centre for impulse control for those who haven’t been forced to help their sister study for medical school) hasn’t developed at the same time as the rest of their gangly, awkward bodies so they tend to lack the sense of impulse control adults have. Definitely explains why they like joke products and games.

Some teenagers grow into adults who retain that poor impulse control and love of toilet humour. Sokka happened to be one of those people. He fell in love with the fake poop, fart bombs and whoopee cushions. Originally, the joke shop had been a way for Sokka to earn money whilst studying his engineering degree but it had begun to overtake his life during his second year out of high school and he’d enjoyed it more than his engineering degree (although he could definitely see the applications of hydraulic engineering in toilet humour).

He didn’t actually mind the teenagers. Truly. But when it came to stocktake time, there always seemed to be some missing. Luckily enough, Sokka was able to mask his monitoring of them by being a genuinely friendly guy and having a chat. Thanks to his experience of toilet humour and through learning about ALL of the gross things from his sister’s medical degree, he could talk about gross bodily functions for long enough to watch the kids through the entire time they spent in the store. Teenagers could also be moody little fuckers who couldn’t string a sentence together but you know...you’ve gotta try. Customer service you see?

Of course, occasionally there was the odd customer who was actually an adult. These people tended to be the “pranksters” of their workplace. Sokka could sympathise. If he had ended up working as an engineer in the corporate world, he’d probably want to let off some steam in response to the people who looked constipated from the proverbial sticks up their arses. The majority of these guys (and they were...mostly men) tended to be of the sweaty variety. Overweight. Maybe a touch of the homophobe and/or racist about them (which, as a gay Native American, Sokka naturally felt more than a touch of revulsion. Sokka loved being told by hetero white guys to take stuff as a joke. Not.) So naturally, Sokka went out of his way to mayyyybe gross some of these guys out. Naturally by making up wacky Native American butt stuff things. Which was totally mature and sensible.

However on this fine day, he’d hit the jackpot. A smoking hot, well dressed man had just rocked up. Nice enough to divert his attention from the crowd of teenagers at the poop stand. He’d leave Aang to deal with that lot. Approaching the gentleman, the discomfort was radiating off of him in waves. Clearly, he was not a natural prankster. A shame. He must have lost a bet. Or maybe he was suffering at the hands of some office dipshit?

“Aah yes. I uh, need to prank one of the people in my office.”

Oh shit. He even sounded sexy. That gravelly voice would be one that Sokka could take commands from. Jesus help him. Sokka hoped to god that even if he wasn’t gay, he at least wasn’t a homophobe.

“Lost a bet? I think I have some fart bombs that would be perfect for the office. Or if you’re a little more considerate, whoopee cushions are a safer alternative and less likely to make people hate your guts.” The sexy ass gentleman gave a nervous cough at that statement.

“Uh, I’ve actually been suffering from fart bombs lately. Someone’s put one in our air vents and I need to regain the upper hand-”

Yes talk formal to me, sir. Ahem, he was still listening.

“Hmmm. Come this way, I have something to show you.” Sokka was going to show him something that was not flirtatious at all. Nah uh.

“I love big cock? On a mug that heats up? That’s perfect! Thanks, I hate it!”

Ok, so his spluttering laugh wasn’t quite so sexy. But...it was nice. And was he imagining things or did his eyes flicker downwards to his…?

“What’s your name, phone number and email by the way? I’ll sign you up to our mailing list so I can give you a discount.” Not the only reason he was after his digits but whatever.

“Zuko, er, Zuko Sawada. And I’ll write down my email and phone number, my email is super complicated.”

Ok, another point there. Zuko huh? That was definitely a name he could cry out-

“Ok done, thanks bye!” and he rushed out the shop. Was Sokka imagining things or was Zuko a little flushed?

_0467 *** ***. zuko.sawada@gmail.com. I’m super awkward and just wanted to tell you that you can call me any time ;)_

So. Guess he wasn’t imagining that flush. Good to know then.


	2. For Sale: one new item

Oh God. Oh God. Oh God.

What had he done?

Zuko Sawada. You thirsty son of a bitch.

Not really. His mother was a nice lady. His father on the other hand...complete and utter bastard. Guess you had to be to run an extremely successful weapons manufacturing firm that had multiple government contracts. Not that Zuko could really judge. I mean, he did work for the bastard. Even if his father had never really thought of him as having the same potential for leadership as his sister, he had still benefited from being the boss's son. One day he'd make him notice that he was worth as much as his sister. One day.

Speaking of his sister....

Zuko pulled the mug out from his bag. It was fairly nondescript black colour with no visible markings when it was cold. Azula loved black, not as much as her henchwoman. Mai, but it still fit with her scary black and red aesthetic so hopefully she would take it into a meeting? With one of the sycophantic government clients who was super conservative? Zuko giggled immaturely at the thought of a military commander reading about big cocks.

Thank the heavens for that sexy man!

No, he reminded himself. It's only been 10 minutes! You should not have expected him to text you by now. Stop it.

If only he had a name to go with that gorgeous face and body. Even if the man's voice was a little high-pitched, he was still sexy as hell. He wondered what he would sound like moaning his name...he imagined he would have a high pitched cry as well, maybe a breathy whine...

_Ring_

Zuko naturally scrambled to answer the phone.

"Hello?"

"Ah nephew! I was wondering if we could get some dinner tonight, I haven't seen you in a week or so."

"Oh."

It was his uncle. Not that Zuko minded, in fact, he felt the man was a saint. He would have had had a far more painful childhood had it not been for that man. But compared to the joke shop man...

"Zuko! That is no way to speak to your old uncle! Are you disappointed with my call?"

"Of course not uncle!" he replied, emphatically.

"You were waiting on someone else, perhaps? Good for you Zuko, you deserve someone to make you happy!"

How on earth was his uncle so perceptive? Another reason he admired the man so much, but also the reason he hadn't contacted him in a week. He would've realised that Zuko was being bullied at work and attempted, yet again, to get him to leave the company. But it was so important to Zuko that he get his father to appreciate him!

"Uncle, I would love to have dinner with you. I'm happy you called, work has been exhausting lately!"

"You know, that company is soul sucking. You need to leave-"

"But uncle, I can't! I still need to prove myself and show my father-"

"Rubbish! You need to prove nothing to that man! You are a strong and kind person, Zuko! We will discuss this later!"

"See you soon uncle."

"Come over in an hour. Don't think I will forget about this!"

Zuko hung up the phone and sighed. As much as he loved his uncle, he felt torn between the two. Despite the long and difficult hours, working at his father's firm was a prestigious position. He was well compensated, given a team of employees and trusted to complete near impossible tasks. It was a good job, far better than he ever could have expected. And it's not as though Zuko was the most sociable of people. He would have hated being a freelance accountant. Also, having your father as a reference was generally frowned up in the employment world, so getting another job would be extremely difficult. Not that he even wanted to. He's 80% sure of that. He thinks.

___

Oooh boy. He's got it. He's definitely got it. Should he text him? Nah, he doesn't want to freak the poor bastard out. The man-no, Zuko, he reminds himself-basically ran from the shop. A text straight away would probably make Zuko have a heart attack.

"Sokka! Snap out of your daydream! We have customers."

Sokka really must've been out of it if Aang was getting snappy. The kid had the patience of a monk.

"Sorry man! Hey, how's it going?"

The last two hours of his shift were non-stop busy. Though it was better to be busy than not, he had wanted to daydream a little longer about Zuko underneath him. He decided that he'd call him after his shift. It was his reward for being so nice all day long!

"Sokka! Want to hang out with me and Toph tonight? We're having a movie night!" Aang asked excitedly. Nowadays, Sokka thought it was sweet but initially, Aang's eagerness had rubbed him up the wrong way. Guess working in a joke shop ~had~ made him more relaxed. And not studying engineering any more. Naturally.

"Sure man, I'll come round after dinner. Katara's cooking so you'd probably be more than welcome to hang at mine beforehand."

This was pretty low hanging fruit honestly. Aang's mooning over Katara was so obvious that Sokka had been a little put off at first. Did he really want his sister being wooed by some guy who was basically the human version of a puppy? Honestly though, after getting to know the guy, he found that Aang was actually really cool. He'd been practicing martial arts from a really young age and was one of the most ethical people he knew. He cared about animals and human rights and volunteered at a soup kitchen regularly. Learning this had put Sokka at ease. Besides, Sokka knew that neither he nor Aang could convince his sister to do anything she didn't want to do. Katara seemed to welcome Aang's presence so if he could make it work in his favour, he would. 

And tonight he had plans to call Zuko without Katara interrupting him. Oh yes. As much as he loved his sister, she could be super nosy when it came to his love life. So he was using Aang to make sure he had an unimpeded phone call. Hopefully, a long one before watching a bunch of scary movies with his friends. It sounded like a fantastic way to spend an evening.

Sokka was basically vibrating with anticipation, his hands shaking as he drove himself and Aang home, almost running through two red lights. Almost. As the sister of a medical student....yada yada. He didn't want a lecture.

The house smelled like fried onions and garlic, making Sokka's mouth water. He had been so preoccupied with his thoughts that he'd forgotten about his stomach. Almost unthinkable! This Zuko guy was sure something if he could make Sokka forget about his stomach for so long! 

"Hey Katara," Aang smiled, walking up next to Katara to look in the pan. "What's cooking?"

"Oh hey! Didn't realise you were coming, I think I've got veggie burgers in the freezer for you" Katara said, glaring at Sokka.

Whoops. This hadn't started well.

"Oh, Sokka said it would be ok! It's good to see you Katara, I haven't seen you in a while!" Aang continued, trying to be peacemaker as usual. 

It wasn't as though Sokka and Katara had a particularly rocky relationship. They did love each other dearly. But like all siblings, it was all too easy to antagonise the other, particularly when both of them were stressed out from their jobs/study/placement periods. And today happened to be one of the few days she managed to have off from university, work and placement. Like many brothers, Sokka didn't really consider the needs of his sister's need for peace and quiet before bringing a friend over and Katara was not really feeling it.

"Sokka, a word please."

Sokka knew when to concede defeat.

"Hey, I know Aang is a lovely guy and all but I just needed today to chill by myself."

"Sorry Katara. We're heading over to a friend's soon to watch movies so you'll be by yourself. I didn't think about that, sorry."

"Is there something on your mind Sokka? You've been pretty quiet since you two got here and normally you're talking about how hungry you are."

"Kind of. It's been a long day I guess."

"I feel that." Katara sighed. Sokka gave her a small smile and a nod of thanks for not pushing the matter and went back out.

"Hey Aang, we'll have to be quick here. Katara's got plans already."

Aang looked a little sulky but seemed to understand. He nodded and send a message to Toph to tell her they'd be over soon.

Speaking of text messages...

Sokka looked at his phone and sighed. He'd have to wait for another night.

_Hey Zuko,_

_It's Sokka from the joke shop. Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you and will call you tomorrow._

_Mwah._


	3. Clearance on all sale items

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! If you're a first time reader, welcome! If you're a returning reader, I've combined the original first two chapters and added more story into the second chapter, so make sure you read that first before reading this chapter otherwise it won't make sense. Hope that makes sense :)  
> ___________________________________________________________________________________________

“So Zuko, what’s been happening with you? Where did you meet this lucky new person?”

Zuko sighed. He couldn’t lie to Uncle. Uncle knew far too much about Zuko to hide the truth from him.

“I should probably start from the beginning…Azula has been putting something in the vents in my workplace that’s been affecting my office. I know, I know, I should probably try and talk to her to-”

“No way! That’s crazy and unsafe! She needs to go down!” Iroh exclaimed, eyes wide with shock.

Zuko smiled, glad to have the support of his uncle. He continued,

“So I decided that I was going to prank her back. I went to a joke shop for some...inspiration. I didn’t want to harm anyone else, but I did want her to get a bit of a shock. So I get there and the worker there recommended a mug with an...interesting...saying on it.”

Zuko stopped talking there, blushing and hiding behind his dumplings. Even though he trusted his uncle implicitly, there was only so much he could mention about...sex...in front of a family member.

“So, the worker there is the lucky individual then?”

Zuko nodded quickly, before darting his eyes to the pork buns on the table and stuffing his mouth with one before Uncle Iroh could ask him anything else.

“Ok then Zuko, I’ll stop pressing,” said Iroh, with a twinkle in his eye, clearly enjoying Zuko’s embarrassment as any self-respecting uncle would.

Zuko swallowed the bite of his pork bun quickly and asked, “How’s the tea shop uncle?”

Iroh smiled and launched into a lengthy description of the new teas which were being imported and blended at the shop. Even though Zuko did not have half of the knowledge his uncle did about tea, hearing his uncle talk about his passion was relaxing. He was so happy that his uncle had found happiness working in a tea shop after his son was killed overseas. Uncle Iroh had isolated himself for so long after that, not caring for himself. Of course, his father and sister hadn’t cared and at that point his mother had left, so that left Zuko to try and coax his uncle out of his despair. It had only been recently that Iroh had returned to his usual self. Although something was different. He was still as sharp as ever, but he was more empathetic. Less obsessed with doing well in life and more concerned with being content.

“-oh, and Zuko, you should come to one of the Pai Sho nights at the tea shop! You remember your old fencing master, Piandao? He comes regularly and was happy to hear you are still working hard! He would love to see you again, Zuko,” Iroh continued, tapping Zuko’s plate with his chopsticks to make sure he was still listening.

“Oh, him! Master Piandao! I miss him too, actually. That sounds like a great idea Uncle, but you know how terrible I am at Pai Sho,” replied Zuko, grinning.

“Well, there’s no better time than the present to practice!” countered Iroh, pulling out a Pai Sho board.

“Ok Uncle, I’m ready to get soundly beaten. Show me how it’s done!”

A few hours later, Zuko headed back home. Once he was home, he noticed a message from a new number. Oh good, he thought, licking his lips. Luckily, he didn’t have work tomorrow, so he could be awake for another few hours.

_____

God, Sokka loved a good horror movie.

They’d powered through “Hama’s Revenge” and were now on to “The Painted Lady.” Between Sokka, Aang and Toph, they’d managed to consume two packets of sweet and salty popcorn, a whole pan with of nachos which had contained packet of Doritos with salsa and vegan cheese (which was surprisingly good, although not as good as regular cheese) and half a tub of hummus with crackers. Although on first impressions Toph appeared to be a goody two-shoes who could do no wrong, Sokka and Aang had learned that her brand of humour was sly and quick witted. She was always careful to make sure she knew you before entrusting this with other people so Sokka and Aang considered themselves close friends. Sokka secretly called themselves ~The Gang~ but never said it aloud for fear of being chastised by Katara.

Sokka felt his phone buzz in his pocket.

“Hey man, put that away, you’ll miss the best part,” cried Aang.

Sokka grumbled at Aang and put his phone away. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, Aang was right. His phone wait until the Painted Lady fucked the bad guys’ shit up.

“Hey Sokka, is that your loooooover?” called Toph, cackling into the popcorn. “I can hear your heart racing.”

An unfortunate side effect of Toph being blind was that her sense of hearing and touch had become incredibly sensitive. Which made her super obnoxious...most of the time.

“Maybe,” replied Sokka, trying to show no emotion on his face. Which was pointless of course, with Toph being blind and all. “Maybe my heart’s just racing because WE’RE WATCHING A MOVIE WITH A BILLION JUMP SCARES.”

“Sure Sokka, you’re as subtle as ever,” sniggered Toph.

“Is that the customer from work?” asked Aang, wide-eyed, pretending to be innocent. The traitor.

“I hate both of you, I’m going to the toilet,” retaliated Sokka without malice, storming off. Well, maybe with a little malice.

 

_Hey,_

_I’m so glad you texted me. I’ve been thinking of you all night. I’m really sorry for not replying earlier, but I was having dinner with my uncle. Looking forward to that long, uninterrupted phone call tomorrow. You’ll probably be in my dreams tonight._

_Zuko_

Holy. Fuck. Zuko was not just some fumbling spring chicken then. Sokka wasn’t too sure how to reply. Should he be just as thirsty? More thirsty? Send a picture? Yes! That always seemed to work! Not a dick pic though, that’s something you only do when asked. But a sexy selfie never went astray.

Sokka double checked the door to make sure it was locked. Then he checked it one more time. As much as he loved his friends, he couldn’t risk them seeing him in full thirsty ho mode. And maybe he was little bit embarrassed by that? Eh.

Jumper off then. Sokka checked himself in the mirror. Yup, this t-shirt was tight enough to stay on. Raising one hand above his head so that his top sat slightly above his waistband, showing off a sliver of his stomach, Sokka snapped a picture. Yup, good enough.

_Hey,_

_Thought I’d give you something to dream about ;)_

Well, guess he’d better take a leak then head back to his so-called friends.

They were about to choose their third movie when Sokka felt his phone buzz in his pocket again.

“Toph, stop it, I can see you smirking at Aang!”

“Aang, listen to how touchy Sokka is being. Or should we call him Sook-a?” giggled Toph, with Aang trying (and failing) to hide his matching giggles.

“Boo you guys! I’m going to hide in the toilet again,” hollered Sokka as strided back down the hall, making sure he double and tripled checked the door again to establish it was locked.

He opens the message and his eyes widen, until they’re almost bulging from their sockets.

“Holy shit,” he whispered to himself. “I’m so fucking gay.”

For Zuko had sent back a photo of himself, lying down on his bed in nothing but a pair of boxers. If Sokka had thought Zuko had looked yummy dressed-up in a suit, it was nothing compared to the feast his eyes were seeing now.

Where to start...his hand trailing across his thick pecs? The thick, spiky hair falling onto the pillow? His cut abs, with a trail of black hair leading towards his...thick dick print. Even if the crimson boyshorts were cute, being covered up seemed to be a crime.

Oh right. There was a message too.

_You inspired me, Sokka._

_Like what you see? You’ll get the whole thing tomorrow, don’t worry._

Sokka wasn’t sure if he could handle any more. With a shaky breath he typed out,

_I would call you right now if I wasn’t at a friend’s house._

_Fuck, I don’t know how long I’ll be able to stay here, thinking of you like that._

_I can’t wait for tomorrow._

Readjusting, Sokka willed himself to soften and went back to face Toph and Aang. He didn’t care about the taunts any more. He was just ready for some alone time tomorrow, and a long, uninterrupted phone call.


End file.
